Stress in Children and Teens

By Payton Hiebert, BSc Neuroscience

Life is constantly changing. As a result of change or uncertainty, stress may arise. Stress is a “physical, mental, and emotional response to challenging events (Mayo Clinic, 2022),” and like adults, children may also experience stress. However, it is not always easy to recognize stress in kids; this is especially true for younger children who are unable to accurately express and reflect on their emotions.

There are some physical signs of stress that, as a parent, you can watch for in your kids. Frequent headaches or stomach-aches, trouble sleeping (Mayo Clinic, 2022), and nervous habits like nail-biting, hair twisting, or thumb sucking in younger kids (Canadian Childcare Federation, n.d.), are all signs that your child may be experiencing stress. Emotional indicators of stress include emotional outbursts, increased defiance (Mayo Clinic, 2022), withdrawal from activities or loved ones, and increased irritability (Mayo Clinic, 2022 & Canadian Childcare Federation, n.d.). You know your child best, and monitoring changes in their physical and emotional well-being may be a useful tool in identifying when your child is stressed. You may want to pay extra attention to these indicators when your child undergoes a big life event, as significant changes to everyday life can cause increased stress in kids. Examples of such events include moving, changing or starting school, having problems with friends, or, in the case of teenagers, juggling many responsibilities (MedlinePlus, n.d.).

As a parent, there are actions you can take to help your child if you notice they are experiencing stress. For younger kids, staying calm and being positive is an important part of helping them learn to manage stress (BC Children’s Hospital, n.d.). You are a role model for your children and showing them how to be calm when stress arises allows your child to mirror your actions when they feel stressed (BC Children’s Hospital, n.d.). Reading a book in which the main character experiences stress could also be a useful way to help your child better understand their feelings, as well as ways to positively resolve them (BC Children’s Hospital, n.d.). BC Children’s Hospital (n.d.) suggests The Way I Feel by Janan Cain. Designating quiet time or play time for your little ones can also help alleviate feelings of stress (Canadian Childcare Federation, n.d.). For older kids, including pre-teens and teenagers, a different approach may be needed to help them manage stress. Older kids may become more defiant, and part of managing your child’s stress when this occurs may simply include picking your battles (Mayo Clinic, 2022). Teens may be looking for a reaction by behaving poorly, so if their behaviour is not dangerous or illegal, it may be best to just ignore it (Mayo Clinic, 2022). Allowing your teen to make choices in their own life may also be useful in helping them to manage stress, especially as your child grows and becomes more independent (Mayo Clinic, 2022 & MedlinePlus, n.d.). Regardless of the cause of your teens stress, your child will respond more positively if they feel like they have some control over the situation (MedlinePlus, n.d.).

Regardless of your child’s age, it is important to promote open dialogue that allows your child to express their emotions (Mayo Clinic, 2022 & MedlinePlus, n.d. & Canadian Childcare Federation, n.d.). Remember to actively listen to what your child is saying—the goal is to learn what is upsetting your child so that you can help them find positive solutions to their stress (MedlinePlus, n.d.). Your child’s feelings are valid, and it is important to not be critical when they are expressing their emotions to you. Talk to them how you would want to be talked to!

If your child is having a tough time opening up to you on their own, gently try to initiate the conversation. Invite your child to have a conversation in a safe place, it may be helpful to choose a place like the car where the pressure of you looking straight at them is eliminated (Mayo Clinic, 2022).  Remind your child that you’re there for them and that you want to help them. Be calm and supportive. Hopefully your child will feel comfortable enough to have a discussion with you, but don’t force them to share if they’re not ready. If your child isn’t ready to talk to you, they may be willing to talking to another individual in their life, it can be useful to provide them with this option as a way of managing their stress.

If you ever believe that your child is experiencing severe stress or other mental health problems, please contact the appropriate healthcare professionals for help such these local agencies listed with Lethbridge ICA.

References

BC Children’s Hospital. (n.d.) Tips for Teaching Children About Stress. Retrieved February 16, 2023, from https://keltymentalhealth.ca/teaching-children-about-stress

Canadian Childcare Federation. (n.d.). Stress in Children. Retrieved February 16, 2023, from https://cccf-fcsge.ca/ece-resources/topics/child-health-safety-environment/stress-children/

Mayo Clinic Health System. (2022). Stressed out kids? Signs and strategies. Retrieved February 16, 2023, from https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/stressed-outkids#:~:text=Children%20who%20are%20stressed%20may,asleep%2C%20or%20start%20having%20nightmares.&text=Children%20who%20are%20stressed%20may%20want%20to%20spend%20more%20time,interact%20with%20friends%20or%20family.&text=Significant%20changes%20in%20your%20children's,be%20a%20sign%20of%20stress

 MedlinePlus. (n.d.). Stress in Childhood. Retrieved February 16, 2023, from https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002059.htm

Lethbridge ICA: https://www.lethbridgeica.ca/mentalhealth