Using Emotional Regulation
Written by: Grace Landry, BHSc
I like using the analogy of the buckets of water that fill up at a waterpark whenever I talk about negative emotions. The bucket fills up with a little bit of water until it dumps out and pours over everyone. Our emotions can be like that too! We experience negative emotions that can cause us to “dump out” in ways like raising our voice and saying hurtful things, throwing objects, breaking objects, or running away from the situation. This is why emotional regulation is important!
Emotional regulation incorporates the initiation of actions, inhibiting of actions, and modulating responses that are all triggered by emotions (Chowdhury, 2021). Emotional regulation gives us the power to stay calm in situations that can cause stressful body responses (Chowdhury, 2021). Emotional regulation can create both short-term and long-term comfort (Davis, 2020). For example, throwing an object across the floor in frustration might feel better in short-term, but after that feeling of sensation goes away, you could feel emotions like guilt, sadness, and regret. Here are some positive strategies that can make you feel better in both the long and short-term!
Mindfulness
· Noticing how we are feeling in certain situations is a great way to practice emotional regulation. Thinking to yourself, “Am I angry right now?” can help you be more aware of how you are feeling. Being mindful can help keep ourselves in check so that we don’t react on that anger
Cognitive Restructuring
· It is easy to jump to conclusions when thinking about how other people react. For example, if your friend gets upset with you it is easy to think that your friend doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Instead of jumping to conclusions, you could reframe those negative thoughts in your mind, such as, “my friend is overwhelmed right now. I can support them by giving them space”. By reframing these thoughts, you are practicing emotional regulation!
Gratitude
· Give yourself some self-love! Emotions are a natural human experience, and it is okay to experience them. Giving yourself time is an important aspect of emotional regulation. It is okay to tell someone, “I am feeling overwhelmed, and I need some time to myself”. Emotional regulation is all about giving yourself time to think and reflect on how to react instead of reacting based on emotions!
These are only a few ways to practice emotional regulation. There are many more great activities to practice! I have attached a few websites to this post if you’d like some more resources on emotional regulation.
For kids: https://www.scarymommy.com/emotional-regulation
For teens: https://www.edutopia.org/article/emotional-regulation-activities-tweens-and-teens
For adults: https://www.yourtherapysource.com/blog1/2021/06/09/emotional-regulation-for-adults-2/
References:
Chowdhury, M. R. (2021). What is emotional regulation? +6 emotional skills and strategies. Psychology Today. https://positivepsychology.com/emotion-regulation/
Davis, T. (2020). 9 science-based emotion regulation skills: What is emotion regulation and how to improve your emotion regulation skills. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/click-here-happiness/202011/9-science-based-emotion-regulation-skills