The Importance of Kindness
by Stephanie Blay Muah, BSc Neuroscience
“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” Henry James
Life can be challenging with variables outside our control. The world right now is going through a lot of different changes and people are suffering. We all have so much going on in our lives - competing strains and stresses. Each person possesses a unique narrative of life and how they experience it. Because they do not share the same experiences as you, does not remove the need for kindness. Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Affection, gentleness, warmth, concern, and care are words that are associated with kindness. While kindness is often associated with being naive or weak, especially in men, that is not the case. Kindness is a sign of strength and courage. Kindness is an important interpersonal skill.
Every human being needs kindness in their lives. Anytime we practice an act of kindness to ourselves or to other people, it contributes to our positive mental and physical health by reducing our stress hormones and increasing our feel-good hormones such as serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin.
Being kind helps boost the immune system, reduce blood pressure, and reduce stress and anxiety. The great thing is that it isn't difficult to be kind. As the Dalai Lama said, 'Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible'.
Wondering how to show kindness to others today? We can start with a smile! Not a fake smile, but a genuine smile, the one you do when you see a cute baby. There is much more power in a smile than most people are not aware of. Smiling is a universal language. When you smile, you send a message to your brain that says, "Things are good." And when your brain gets that message, it releases endorphins, natural feel-good chemicals that make you happy. Smiling is one of the most important facial expressions and can make you look younger. When you smile, the muscles in your face contract and release, which helps to tone your facial muscles. It also helps to improve your complexion by increasing blood flow to your face (Lewis, 2022).
Another way of showing kindness is complementing someone in a meaningful way. Of course, it is nice to say, “nice hair” or “nice shoes”, but a meaningful complement can be noticing how hard someone works or their effort and complementing them on that. Another way of showing kindness is reacting with compassion when someone is rude. Sometimes people get overly frustrated and unconsciously pour out their frustrations on others. We may never know what someone is truly going through so if we reciprocate the inconsiderate act with kindness instead, it can help the other person start to feel better. Staying connected is another way of showing kindness to others. A simple phone call to a someone, a friend, family member, acquaintance, a co-worker might change their lives in that instant. Checking in on people is one of the purest forms of kindness and in today’s world, everyone needs checking in on and it makes them know you are thinking of them.
Whiles being kind to others, we need to remember to be kind to ourselves. Take breaks from work when needed, go to the spa, fix those nails, fix those lashes, go to the gym, get that massage, take a mental health day, do some journaling, practice positive self-talk, discover new outdoor activities, meditate, get a good night of sleep, eat healthy, or go for a walk. All these self-care activities are an act of showing kindness to yourself. If you are not kind to yourself, how are you going to be kind to others? One way I express kindness to myself when having a bad day is hugging myself. Physical care and love are nourishing, reassuring, and loving. You may give yourself a hug or pat on the arm to feel these feelings even if you're by yourself. Certain physical actions have been shown to lower cortisol or naturally occurring stress levels. Another way to show kindness to yourself is acknowledging what you are grateful for. By actively practising gratitude, you may increase your happiness and divert your attention from your bad thoughts. A hot cup of coffee, a particularly sunny morning, or even just the realisation that you have another day to live can all trigger gratitude. An important factor to consider when showing kindness to yourself is to avoid comparisons. We are all on different paths in life, everyone is doing their best to be a best version of themselves, so comparing yourself to others can decrease your self-esteem and affect your mental health negatively. Comparisons may be harmful. We continually see on television, in advertisements, and on social media how we are not yet living the ideal life and how we fall short of other people. Avoid making comparisons since doing so can lead to negative self-talk and criticism. In fact, it is the very reverse of kindness.
In conclusion, BE KIND, everyone needs it.
References
Lewis, G. M. (2022, November 10). BENEFITS OF SMILING: 8 UNBELIEVABLE REASONS TO SMILE MORE. BENEFITS OF SMILING: 8 UNBELIEVABLE REASONS TO SMILE MORE. https://lovethatsmile.com/dental-articles/benefits-of-smiling-8-unbelievable-reasons-to-smile-more
Photos: https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/how-to-show-kindness-to-others
https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-quotes/133-kindness-can-transform-someones-dark